Foto: Rudee Michelle Photography
Pogledi iz Amerike
V Jantarni lastovki objavljamo kolumne ameriškega avtorja Emmanuela Clacka. Skozi osebne zgodbe, dogodke iz preteklosti in aktualna vprašanja raziskuje zapleteno podobo ameriške družbe ter ponuja pogled na procese in napetosti, ki oblikujejo ameriški prostor.
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Nagoni so želje, ki vzbudijo naše zanimanje in v možganih sproščajo endorfine, ti pa dajejo občutek zadovoljstva.
Vsi nagoni niso enaki.
Nekdo lahko začuti željo, da bi pojedel kos torte, ki ga zaradi diete ne bi smel. Nekateri nagoni so nedolžni in neškodljivi. Nekateri so skrajni. Pogosto morilci v intervjujih govorijo o nagonu po ubijanju ali povzročanju bolečine drugim.
Nekje na sredini so naši človeški spolni nagoni. Prirojene želje, da bi sodelovali v stvareh, ki nam v tistem trenutku prinašajo ugodje. To je nagon, ki je lahko neškodljiv in škodljiv. Škoduje lahko ne samo posamezniku, ampak tudi drugim ljudem.
V Ameriki obstaja nekaj, čemur pravijo »odvisnost od pornografije«. To pomeni, da posameznik obsesivno gleda pornografijo do te mere, da ta izkrivi njegovo predstavo o spolnosti in njegov odnos do nje. Problematično postane zato, ker vpliva na njegovo razpoloženje, na to, kako preživlja svoj čas in kako porablja svoj denar. Pri tistih, ki so v partnerskih razmerjih, vpliva tudi na njihov odnos s partnerjem. Pričakovanja, ki jih imajo glede intimnosti, lahko vodijo v zlorabo in/ali nezvestobo.
V Ameriki obstaja nekaj, čemur pravijo »odvisnost od pornografije«. To pomeni, da posameznik obsesivno gleda pornografijo do te mere, da ta izkrivi njegovo predstavo o spolnosti in njegov odnos do nje.
Kako naj na to gledamo?
Je to nemoralno?
Ali naj krivdo pripišemo posamezniku ali družbi?
Pri odvisnosti od drog in alkohola obstajajo zakoni in neposredne posledice. Odvisnost od enega ali drugega je katastrofalna. To ni nekaj, kar bi lahko skrili pred ljudmi okoli sebe. Odvisnost od pornografije se zdi najbolj skrita. Obstaja tančica anonimnosti, zaradi katere jo je lažje skrivati. Zasebni klubi, zasebne skupine, zasebne aplikacije, zasebne spletne strani.
Kdo so žrtve? Je to oseba, ki trpi zaradi odvisnosti, ali ženska, ki jo izkoriščajo zato, da bi hranila to skrivno odvisnost? Po mojem mnenju je to ženska. Obstaja rek, da je »prostitucija najstarejši poklic«. Ne vem, koliko je to res, vendar pravijo, da se pojavlja celo v Svetem pismu.
Kako smo prišli do sem?
Zaradi iskrenosti moram povedati, da menim, da je velika večina med nami že gledala pornografijo. Menim, da velika večina med nami uživa v gledanju pornografije. Menim, da velika večina med nami tega ne počne z mislijo na to, da ljudje na drugi strani morda počnejo nekaj, v kar so bili prisiljeni, ali pri tem sodelujejo kot pri svoji zadnji možnosti. Lahko je tudi posledica travme, ki jih je pripeljala na to pot.
Vsak dan hodimo mimo brezdomcev in jim ne pomagamo. To se zdi nekaj običajnega. Ko pride do prometne nesreče ali druge nezgode, boste videli ljudi, ki peljejo mimo, ustavijo in hitijo pomagat vozilom ali posameznikom, udeleženim v nesreči. Nekatere stvari zahtevajo takojšnjo pozornost, medtem ko druge spregledamo. Na človeka, ki prosi za drobiž, gledamo kot na izgubljen primer ali kot na nekoga, ki želi samo denar, da bi se omamil ali napil, zato mu ne pomagamo.
Nekatere stvari zahtevajo takojšnjo pozornost, medtem ko druge spregledamo.
Trgovina z ljudmi je šele pred kratkim postala zelo odmevna tema. Iskreno povedano sem vedno mislil, da pomeni, da nekoga ugrabijo. Šele pred kratkim sem izvedel, da pomeni tudi to, da nekdo drugi osebi plača za spolni odnos ali jo nagovarja k spolnemu odnosu. Obstajajo ženske, ki jih ugrabijo in prisilijo v takšno življenje. Mnoge so prisiljene v snemanje pornografije ali v prostitucijo.
Zaradi iskrenosti moram povedati, da menim, da velika večina med nami še nikoli ni plačala nikomur za spolne usluge. Menim, da velika večina med nami tega nikoli ne bi storila.
Kaj naj si mislimo o tistih, ki to počnejo?
Je to nemoralno?
Moje sočutje je nemudoma na strani žensk. Sramotno je, da naša družba seksualizira ženske in jih obravnava kot blago. Covid je povzročil finančne stiske in sprožil nov pojav, imenovan »seksualno delo« — prostitucija. Nenadoma je prostitucija dobila novo podobo in več žensk se je vanjo vključilo, da bi na hitro zaslužile.
Spletna stran OnlyFans je ustvarila prostor za digitalno prostitucijo, ki ni bila obremenjena s stigmo prostitucije. Nanjo se ne gleda enako kot na ženske, ki hodijo po ulicah in imajo spolne odnose v poceni motelih. Seksualno delo je postalo zelo iskano in veliko žensk je vstopilo v takšen način življenja ter s svojimi vsebinami lahko zaslužilo milijone.
Spletna stran OnlyFans je ustvarila prostor za digitalno prostitucijo, ki ni bila obremenjena s stigmo prostitucije. Nanjo se ne gleda enako kot na ženske, ki hodijo po ulicah in imajo spolne odnose v poceni motelih.
Za kakšno ceno?
Je denar dovoljšen razlog, da zaradi njega ogrozijo svoja moralna načela?
Bo to nekaj, kar bodo obžalovale?
So to storile iz predanosti ali iz obupa?
Kaj pa ženske, ki niso bile uspešne?
Je to nemoralno?
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Urges are desires that capture our interest and release endorphins in the brain, creating a sense of satisfaction.
Not all urges are created equal.
A person might have the urge to eat a piece of cake they should avoid because of their diet. Some urges are innocent and harmless. Others are extreme. When interviewed, murderers sometimes speak about an urge to kill or inflict pain on others.
Somewhere in the middle are our sexual urges as human beings: innate desires to engage in things that feel pleasurable in the moment. This is an urge that can be both harmless and harmful. It can harm not only the individual, but other people as well.
In America, there is something referred to as “porn addiction.” This means that a person watches pornography obsessively to the point that it distorts their understanding of sex and their relationship to it. It becomes problematic because it affects their mood, how they spend their time, and how they spend their money. For those in relationships, it can also affect the dynamic with their partner. The expectations they develop around intimacy can lead to abuse and/or infidelity.
In America, there is something referred to as “porn addiction.” This means that a person watches pornography obsessively to the point that it distorts their understanding of sex and their relationship to it
How should we view this?
Is it immoral?
Should we place more blame on the individual or on society?
With drug and alcohol addiction, there are laws and immediate consequences. Addiction to either can be catastrophic. It is not something that can easily be hidden from the people around you. Porn addiction, however, seems to be much more hidden. There is a veil of anonymity that makes it easier to conceal: private clubs, private groups, private apps, private websites.
Who are the victims? Is it the person suffering from the addiction, or the woman being exploited to feed that secret addiction? In my opinion, it is the woman. There is a saying that prostitution is “the oldest profession.” I am not sure how true that is, but people say it even existed in biblical times.
How did we get here?
For the sake of transparency, I believe that the vast majority of us have watched pornography. I believe that the vast majority of us enjoy watching pornography. I also believe that most of us do not watch it while thinking about whether the people on the other side may have been coerced into participating, or whether they entered that world as a last resort. Trauma may also have led some of them down that path.
We walk past homeless people every day, and we do not rush to help them. It has become commonplace. When there is a car crash or an accident, however, we often see people pull over and rush to help the cars or individuals involved. Some situations demand immediate attention, while others are overlooked. We may look at a person asking for spare change as a lost cause, or assume that they only want money to get high or drunk, and so we do not help them.
Some situations demand immediate attention, while others are overlooked.
Human trafficking has recently become a major topic of discussion. I used to think it simply meant that a person had been kidnapped. Only later did I come to understand that it can also involve people being bought, sold, coerced, or exploited for sex. Some women are abducted and forced into that life. Many are forced into pornography or prostitution.
For the sake of transparency, I also believe that the vast majority of us have never paid anyone for sex. I believe that most of us never would.
What do we make of those who do?
Is it immoral?
My empathy goes immediately to the women. It is shameful that our society sexualizes women and treats them as commodities. Covid created enormous financial pressure and also accelerated a phenomenon increasingly described as “sex work.” Prostitution was suddenly rebranded, and many women entered that world in search of quick money.
The website OnlyFans created a platform for digital sex work that carried far less of the stigma traditionally associated with prostitution. It is not viewed in the same way as women walking the streets or having sex in cheap motels. Sex work became highly marketable, and many women entered that lifestyle, with some making millions from their content.
The website OnlyFans created a platform for digital sex work that carried far less of the stigma traditionally associated with prostitution. It is not viewed in the same way as women walking the streets or having sex in cheap motels.
But at what cost?
Is the money enough to compromise their morals?
Will it be something they regret?
Did they do it out of choice, or out of desperation?
And what about the women who were not successful?
Is it immoral?
